So ive been broke since i moved out of my parents house, and that was about 4 years ago. i dont think ive ever had a job that pays more than $12 an hour. Plus, I'm extremely lazy, so i have always only had one job at a time. Currently, im actually jobless, and just moved into a new apartment downtown which raised my rent about $200. As i look for a job, here, on my laptop, (I've wandered outside as well) i start to look back at why ive always been. So broke and not totally fucked, considering i have a shopping addiction that costs me about 15 grand a year. So here are some rules that will get you by. follow them.

See, this one is important. food isnt as awesome as people think it is. plus, you dont need to buy a bunch just so you have 'options' when you come home. fuck it. decisiveness is forced when you look in the cupboard and say "well,I have a can of soup left, oh and some crackers!" fucking dinner, right there.

I mean a little bit of drugs is okay. If you're spending like 30 bones every 2 weeks for some blow or like, 20 bucks for some pot, then whatever. But do not get into drugs man. Stick to liquor. Seriously. You can always go to the bar and tap on that pitcher for free or go get some dollar high balls or something. But nothing is going to sponge up your dollars like drugs. I mean, clothes are more expensive than drugs, but when the funds are dried up, you still have clothes.

Well, im not sure how to explain this one. because on one hand its like "so if you didnt spend so much money on new clothing then you wouldnt be as broke." But this is how to get by on being broke. so skip that obvious conclusion in your head. If you always look really good, then you can feel good about yourself, which limits you wanting to do shitty things like steal. also, no one likes a broke ass. So if you want to keep your friends, you better look much cuter than them.

Sounds backwards right? Like, you could hook it up with some rich bro and you're done. HELL NO. How many rich mother A fuckers do you see walking around with broke ass chicks? Doesnt happen. You think these dudes are stoked on taking care of bitches that cant get a good job? Fuck no. If you have a plethora of dudes barking at your behind, then they will all be at a far enough distance that they don't know you're broke, and it will be causual enough that you're still going on dates with all of them. Free meal. Free movies. Free drinks. Free rides. You're living the high life without spending a fucking dime. You dont need them to buy you clothes, you're doing that enough yourself.

Nothing is worse than some homely fucking dude living in a basement suite out in booneyville with his dirty roommate surviving off kraft dinner. I mean, i was working for $10 an hour and i lived downtown, and i never ate kraft dinner. Location, location, location! If you're going to be broke it better be because of your crazy rent. Or school. School is a valid excuse. But it also makes you an asshole. So.

Nothing will call out that fact that you're broke more than being a fucking idiot. Keep reading. ask your friends if you can borrow a book to read. They would have to be serious assholes to say no. As long as you keep your head straight, getting a better paying job can happen, self esteem can happen, having something to offer can happen, because god knows you dont have any money for anybody! Even though society has totally screwed you, you better keep contributing.

So I guess if you follow this guide, you may be worthless, but at least you'll have self worth... and really nice clothes.